Conflictions

I don't know how to say how I am feeling right now. Is it possible to be inspired and depressed at the same time? I want to laugh and cry, sleep and play, smile and scowl all at once. I am conflicted to say the least.I know that my trials are small compared to many, but at times I feel overwhelmed, like at any moment I might crack and lose the ounce of control I am holding on to. I really do want to keep my ounce.

I can pinpoint at least part of the reason I am so emotional. I am feeling sleep deprived from taking care of an 8 month old who has NEVER slept through the night. Not only has he not slept through the night, it is not uncommon for him to be up 3-4 times a night. Probably 13 out of 14 nights he is up at least twice.

Kaitlynn and Aubrey are typical 4 and 2 year olds...fighting, getting hurt, yelling, crying, making messes. At least they do them all together and keep each other entertained. Aubrey is almost 2 and a half and has NO interest in keeping a diaper on, but also NO interest in using the toilet.

What I must say is that I am grateful to be a mom. At times that is the exact thing that is making me crazy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I LOVE MY KIDS. It is so great to see them growing and becoming little grown-ups. It is interesting to see them making connections in the world on their own, without having to explaine every little detail. It makes me feel so happy to feel thier love when my girls ask for "one more kiss" before bed or when Logan cries out when I leave a room because he misses me. I just know my life wouldn't be whole without all of them. I am so blessed.

Also, I am SO in love with my husband. I never thought I would be blessed enough to have a loving, devoted husband. I love that he supports us without complaint...not only does he not complain about having to go to work, he takes pride in providing our family with the things we need. He looks forward to coming home to be with us at the end of the day and he loves spending time with us. I love that he loves me...that is something I hope I will never take for granted.

I know that this post is so drastically different from our others. Thanks for being patient with me while I try to work through some of the emotions that are bubbling to the surface. I have decided to try harder to be a great wife, a loving mother, a trustworthy friend, a true disciple of Christ, an organized RS Secretary, a diligent preparedness group coordinator, a friendlier neighbor, a busier person in general. Most of all, the wife, mother and disciple roles are the ones I WILL IMPROVE. The time has come for me to stop being a fence sitter and be more of an active member of my family and our Heavenly Father's family. I love you all.

Earrings

I have a great friend named Pamela. She is so talented. One of her MANY talents is that she hand makes jewlery. She recently gave me a gift and I have to show them off. She gave me this pair of REALLY cute earrings. I absolutely love them. They are called falling rain.



She has a shop on Etsy.com. The link to her shop is:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5311389

She also has a blog where she posts craft ideas, recipes, and fun activities to do with kids. The link is:
http://pamelasusan.typepad.com/pamela_susanup_close_pers/

You really should check out her sites.

Thanks for the earrings Pam. I love them.

So over the last few weeks Bekah and the girls have been getting started on a garden. If you look in our kitchen it looks like we are growin weed because we have these makeshift seedling lights setup with plant trays underneath. If the government is reading this I promise there is nothing illegal being grown in our home, unless Bek is making an attempt to pay of some medical bills. So here are a few pictures of them planting.

Have to thank Pam for taking the pics.





This is our weed garden.SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!




Kaitlynn loved getting in and getting her hands dirty. She will be great help with the garden (until it comes time to work).







Burz doesn't really have the patience to sit and plant. She is a cazy woman.




This is the boy just chillin!

Boring!!

Sorry, no pictures, I just wanted to get on here and give a little update. Everyone is doing well. No new stitches for Aubrey. I hope we are over that phase for a long time. We have all had colds though for about two weeks now. It is getting old. I am ready to be done with them. The girls got it first and are pretty much over it so hopefully we can see the end coming.

Logan was supposed to have a surgery on Monday but we had to cancel because of the cold. He got it pretty bad. He lost and his voice and everything. He is now on an antibiotic for an ear infection, motrin for the headaches, two different inhalers (one steroid and one anti-inflamatory), and his eye drops. Poor kid. His pediatrition said he will stay on the steroid inhaler indefinately because he gets intabated so much that his lungs are likely so become irritated and such.

Wyatt has gotten a lot of work done around here. He went to the cannery for us today and did some of our food storage. What a good man he is. He then came home and worked on our wood flooring some. Thanks mom and dad for coming to help us today...we REALLY appreciate you.

Wyatt is a little upset with me though. I figured out where I wanted my garden to go so he went out and removed the bushes and trees and such. Then he went and tilled it and all that jazz. Then as watched the spot over the next few days I decided that I wanted to move the spot to a different place. He was not a happy guy. He is such a great guy that he will move it for me. I am so lucky to have such an understanding husband. He is so handy and talented. I love you honey!!

Anyway, enough of that lovey dovey crap. We are good. Life is good. Logan is scheduled for surgery on the 23rd. We will let you know how it goes. Take care everyone!!